We are in desperate need of a family meeting. ASAP. Kids are being buttheads.
Have you ever found that when things are especially good you let down your guard, so to say?
I tend to not nag. on my kids as much. One may think that’s a good thing. My friends, it is not. Least not around here 🙂
My kids need a good nagging every couple days to keep them on track. Both are busy in mind and body, one of them certifiable (ADHD) and if I don’t keep myself lodged up their hind ends nothing would ever get done. And when you’re outnumbered 3 to 1, there’s a lot to be done.
So yes. Familiy meetings. They are a great tool to get many things accomplished. But to make it work well, you have to be prepared. I like to get them all outlined and organized (imagine that). It gives me a direction if they get off track and a reference for all I need to talk about.
Here’s how I do it…
- Start with the good. Let ’em know that you are proud of them. Good choices, home work, etc. Let the little runts know you see the good things they do!
- Tell them what you need. I take the “We all know there’s a lot that goes on around here. I need your help with some things…”. TO me, this communicates the message that I don’t want them to run their whole lives, but they do need to help make our life work. If you don’t have guidelines that are not commonly understood, make those clear here, too.
- That said, lay it on ’em :). Ok, maybe not lay it on them, but they need to hear about what they have been slacking on. Not doing their chores, not “remembering” home work. I also always tell them I don’t want to nag them, but I will if they don’t step it up.
- Finally it’s their turn to speak. Let them vent about each other, and you. And let them just speak, as long as it’s not mean, even if it isn’t something you want to hear. Once their issues are out, we brainstorm solutions to any problems, make goals, form a plan, etc.
Usually life returns to normal after that. I nag some, a couple times a week, but they do what they need to. If not, I threaten device removal to my office (xbox controllers and phones). That always works 🙂