Do you ever feel like you’re just not cut out for something? Be it a job, a city, maybe a class you’re taking, I think all of us have been there.
Me? I feel like I’m not cut out for a relationship. My god I can’t believe I just said that.
And I must say up front that its totally not about him. He’s a phenomenal man.
But I feel like I’m just a psycho crazy insecure unworthy suspicious freak. Yup. Really.
I get all freaked out. Like he’s one of the other douche-bags that have fucked me over (I’ve only NOT been cheated on once). I wonder about the Facebook. I wonder about the distance. I wonder about his closed nature. I fear that the kids are too much. That I’m just not what he wants. I worry that he’s getting some on the side. Yeah. Stuff like that.
I really thought that after 2 years of being single and learning to be secure with myself I’d be alright. That I’d be ready to try again. But I kinda feel like I’m failing.
Fucked up. That’s what it is.
Thanks for listening.