I’ve been in a real “Everything just fecking sucks” mood lately. There doesn’t seem to be a day that goes by that something isn’t getting under my skin and irritating the shit out of me.
And though spewing my crap on my blog somehow makes me feel a little better, I know I need to stop. ASAP. It’s not good. Not cool at all.
Sooooo…. I’mnna bitch one last time and next time we connect it will be on a positive note! Thank you so much for sticking through it. 🙂
Dude they so haven’t been listening lately. It seems to be a fight every time I turn around, and they’re back to their laziness. I get it with the 9 yr old, he’s still at the stage where he needs to be reminded, between his age and ADHD. But Boo?!? C’mon now. Not being new, and at 14, you would think that she’d be able to dislodge her head for long enough to do what needs to be done. But nooooooo. It’s always “I forgot” then getting pissed when I take the privileges. Plus my 15 yr old not-at-home has suddenly developed a huge issue with me being a parent and monitoring her Facebook, just like I do Boo’s. She claims it’s her life, she’s old enough to not have to be “babysat” and I need to stay out of her business. Uh….I don’t think so baby. When you’re chatting up 19 year olds, you obviously need your mother to help you dislodge. Because you can’t see with your head up there. *sigh*
You know, it’s really a cool thing to get to play on the website, find neat blog material, do some SM, and get paid for it. But when you’re working at a smallish place, your job description might as well be “her bitch”. Because I am. And it kind of sucks. Yesterday I left my appointment and went back up for over an hour because I got a phone call saying “You forgot to get the class together!”. Ahem, I did not forget to get the class together. I was doing my job. You know, the one you hired me for?!?!??” And my other job? That’s just crap. I’m there now :P. And I’m not liking the fact that it’s so boring/no work that I am blogging. Seems wrong.
This is a toughy. I adore the shit out of him. Anyone who knows me knows that I do. And he really is good to me. But damn I wish I had some idea about his feelings towards me. As we inch up on 3/4 of a year, I get more and more tense. I am deathly afraid that he’s going to be all like “You know, I’m just not that into all this (family stuff).” And I’m going to be back where I started. It’s also really frustrating to see that when it comes to exploring outside of the comfort level, he’s really shitty at it. This all came about as we were talking about moving. Me n the kids. Down there. I asked how he would feel if I could find a relocation job somewhere I really wanted to be. Like South Carolina. Or Portland. Or Seattle. It was a huge NO. And I instantly got on the defense and my mind was squirrling…”Wait a minute here, buddy. If you think I am going to be the only one in this relationship to make concessions, you’ve got another thing coming. Furthermore, if you think I am going to stay in this ass-backwards shit hole of a state near the armpit of this fucking state for the rest of my life, you mustn’t know me at all”.
But I don’t want to get like that. I don’t want to be a complete rag. So I am waiting for a time when I have settled and we are just out n about. Then I will talk about it.
So I guess it just sucks because I’m starting to see those little things. And with him not being a talker I just don’t know how to approach.
Whew! I’m done.
Next time hopefully I will have some answers, or at least a little insight. I promise, at the least, that Monday’s Tunes will be good (i.e. no complaining) and the Hump Day will be up-beat and motivational 🙂
Have a wonderful weekend.