There’s nothing irritates me more than somebody that Just rolls over and takes it.
You know, those people that won’t say anything about anything, no matter what?
Don’t get me wrong, I know that assertiveness is something that most of us have to learn. It’s not always easy to ask the questions that need to be asked or demand the answers that you need. But there comes a point in time when you just have to grow a pair and do it.
I know a person, we’ll call them “T”, who cannot be assertive to save their soul. It doesn’t matter if it’s work-related, life related, or anything else.
It wouldn’t bother me nearly so bad if they wouldn’t complain about the things they cannot assert themselves on. Don’t bitch about your boss wanting to take you to take a test on something you haven’t been trained on if you can’t tell them you haven’t been trained on it. Quit whining that you don’t know your work schedule if you don’t have the balls to ask about it. And don’t tell me that you don’t know something if you can’t even ask the question/give the proper information to get an answer.
I’m beginning to think this mainly goes to the people pleasers. Those who don’t want to rock the boat, make anyone mad, or make people dislike them. But what they fail to realize is the people that already do like them lose respect for them for not having any balls. It’s a vicious circle. But one I believe can be easily corrected.
How, you may ask? There are often scenarios when it’s easy to step out of your comfort zone and be assertive. Let me give you some examples.
He struggled for a long time making any comments that were even remotely parenting related. Whether it was lack of confidence or fear of what the children might think of him, I don’t know. But I was able to help him out. I simply told him that if they’re doing something you know that they know they shouldn’t be doing, call them out on it. Don’t be mean, don’t be rude, just state the fact. Now he can.
My GF “M”.
She used to call me all the time complaining about her classes. She would tell me that the teacher didn’t explain something, she didn’t get the assignment, etc. I told her “You are the student and you have a right to understand what you’re being taught. If you don’t get it talk to her after class or send her an email”. She did it once and now has no problem asking.
There are a few points to be absorbed, here. Ones that can really help you start asserting yourself….
If you want respect, get it. You will be more respected/liked for what you have the nerve to say than for sitting there and taking it.
If its a fact, not an opinion, state it. People generally won’t be mad at you for stating a fact, even if they don’t really want to hear it.
If you don’t know, ask. It’s your life. You can’t learn/grow/plan if you allow yourself to be in the dark.
Don’t be a dick. Politeness takes one much further than douchiness.
Don’t whine. Just ask.
If you’re willing to complain, be willing to have the balls to fix the situation.
And remember you are deserving of your voice. As long as its not rude. Or whiney.
Hopefully this will help. If you’ve got anything to add, please do so!