I am a people pleaser. Period. I will stretch myself above and beyond my time constraints, comfort zone, and sometimes even my sanity to make sure everyone is happy. Or at least alright.
I like to think of it as a good thing, and on a lot of levels it is…
In my job ~
I am known for going above and beyond by simply doing what I know I need to do, as well as what everyone else asks me to. And it doesn’t stress me out, so it’s ok.
For my kids ~
This is a must, and for me, an obvious. Games, appointments, school functions, I make sure I am there. Because in 3/4 of the little lives I am in charge of I am the only responsible party. And I firmly believe that they need to know they are supported, cared about, and that there’s someone there to hold them accountable. Sometimes it is stressful, but it’s ok, too. It is my job, and I take pride in my role as Mama.
This here is the one where I think know I need some work. In an emergency or crisis situation a friend should be there if at all possible. It’s part of your role as a friend! But when you’ve for someone who does nothing but drain you, as I have, it would totally benefit you to be able to say “Nope! Can’t do it!” or “No, I don’t want to talk to you anymore!!” And for some reason, that’s really hard for me. Because I don’t like being the source of pain and frustration.
So what to do.
Well, I have come to the conclusion that when you nicely tell these people to take a flying leap and they don’t, one needs to just put their bitch-panties on and tell ’em to f-off. Seriously.
But if that’s tough for you, as it is for me, I found this stellar little graphic on Pinterest for different ways to say no. Maybe I will try these first. Or maybe I will just tell said person to f-off. We shall see!