I’ve been “finding myself” lately.
A little scary, not even gonna lie. So many things that I have found I became complacent about. All of the little things the kids have been taking advantage of because I am a single mom with hardly any time. And the stark realization that I am fairly miserable.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am exceptionally happy with the fact that I haven’t the DB stress of months past. But it seems like there is so much that needs to be caught up on, and I haven’t found the balance to keep it all in check. Which makes me feel like I’m falling. Literally. And that feeling brings upon some serious anxiety.
My girls are at a place in their lives where they need discipline and direction more than ever. But when I give it, even kindly and gently, I get more grief than Carter’s got pills. And holy sweet mother of God I had better not change or start enforcing rules that have gotten ignored half the summer…certain doom, lemme tell you.
This is a weird place I’m in. Like a mid-life crisis. And I am really tired. Of the drama, the fighting, and the working for nothing (or so it seems). This hell they’ve got me going though had better pay off some day, ya know what I’m sayin’??