Boundaries

defend20your20boundariesBoundaries are something I haven’t ever really articulated with myself. Or others. I’ve had the obvious ones with old co-workers *working in a factory of perverted men, you have to say something to keep them in line. But not ever for relationships. Maybe that explains the failures…

Considering I am feeling like maybe I can date again I decided that maybe it was time I gave it some thought. I need to define what I need to respect myself and my life.

I will not tolerate lies in my interactions

I am an open book. To quote Fat Amy “See, I guess I”m not really living if I’m not being 100% honest”. Whether it’s by silence, omission, or straight to my face, I cannot be in a relationship in any capacity with someone who lies to me.

I will not chase

This is hard for me. I will hang on when someone does nothing to foster the relationship. But NO MORE! I am choosing to be done.

I will not tolerate inherent negative energy in my space

I strive every day to be positive, even when it isn’t natural. I don’t want someone in my space pissing and moaning about everything all the time. We all have bad days, life happens. Put your big girl/boy panties on and deal. Negativity is a choice and I choose not to have it.

I will not be (only) a sex object

Sex is great. And an important piece of a healthy relationship. But it’s got to be about more than that. Shared faith, interests, morals, and ideas. You’ve got to like each other just as much out in the world as in between the sheets. Can’t spend your whole life in bed.

I will not be the fixer. My name’s not Florence

You can’t fix ignorant. Or liars, cheats, or abusers. No matter how much you love someone or how much of yourself you pour into them, you only lose pieces of yourself.

I will not negotiate my boundaries. 

Period.

With this foundation, I think a solid first floor can be built. Sure do hope so anyways 🙂

xo
c

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