Just a Phase

If you follow the “rules of dating”, you will inevitably encounter the uncomfortable period of time between “It’s over” and “I’m happy alone”. You know the place; you’re alone and BORED. You started journaling just to tell something about your day. You want one of those hugs that turns into sex.

That’s where I’m at. It’s been 10 days since I have seen or talked to the sexy biker guy. I miss him. And although I do not want to get together with him, I want to see him. But I don’t. But I sooooo do, if you get my drift.

Why is it, do you think, that we have this uncomfortable phase of after relationship shit? I’m going to guess that it’s simply change. We got used to something and now it’s gone. So how to deal with it? Here’s what I think;

  • Create a ritual
    The habit of doing something that makes you feel good will only intensify the feeling of self love. Be it dry-brushing, meditation, prayer, yoga, a shower, oil pulling, whatever. Combine a few feel-good things and make it a priority to do it every damn day.
  • Get a BOB
    Humans have sexual needs. Period. Don’t go looking for someone to fulfill that need, it will only make you feel worse about yourself. Get a battery operated boyfriend instead. Not only will this take the edge off, but you’ll discover a lot about yourself and your needs.
  • See your friends
    Being alone is hard. Even when you have kids to talk to, you really yearn for someone to connect with. Remember, you’re not alienated, you’re just single. Make plans or go where your friends are!
  • Love yourself
    If there was anything you didn’t do or stopped doing because of the relationship, start doing it! Do what you love!! Do what makes you feel good. For me it’s mass, yoga, music & beer, farmers markets, and a clean house. So I make time for all of it.

Those are the things I am doing today and every day to get back to me. I know that if I were to break the cardinal rule of dating (again) I would just be in a vicious cycle. Gotta be alone for a while and keep my sanity while doing it. At least Christmas will be cheaper…




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