Well, the cardinal rule of dating for me, anyways;
Come Up For Air
I get to the awkward phase of break-up and will jump at the chance to date someone. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t date people I don’t want to date. I just date them WAY to early into my post-relationship recovery. I need to learn to come up for air.
In the last few years of doing this, I have found that I just keep going from one unsatisfying relationship to another, desperately seeking someone who will make me feel amazing, love me like a country song, go to church with me, and buy me beers and grab my butt. But in not getting to know the person well for fear that they’ll not be here when I’m ready, I can’t find that, because these folks I’m dating aren’t those kind of folks.
So with this cardinal rule brings a couple other guidelines that I have hashed out after 15 years of dating the wrong guys.
- Before you start, Give Yourself Time
- Get to know a guy!
This seems like a no brainer, but I feel like there’s always something that rears it’s head a couple weeks in that I’m like “Shit. That would have been nice to know”.
- Ask Friends
Take him to meet your friends and ask for their honest feedback! Often times they will see and feel things that you miss during the crush phase.
- Don’t Rush It
I don’t know if it’s just the guys I date, or all guys, but most that I have dated start hinting at the L word and want to discuss co-habitation within a month. No no NO! You don’t even know enough about the guy/girl to know if you can deal with each other for more than a day or so.As my boss says, don’t create a chicken and the egg situation.
I’m going to take my own advice, now…