Is It Just About Sex?


That, my friends, is the question of the day. Is it just about sex?

In the bullshit dating game that all of us single 30-somethings are caught in, that one piece plagues us all. Should you care? Do you care?? Is it wrong if you don’t? Not to mention how the fuck do you know?

If you google “How to figure out a guys motive” (yep. I did. No shame.) you will inevitably find that the first thing on everyone’s’ list is “Sex too Soon” or something to that effect. Well, in the spirit of full disclosure, I haven’t always given it time. Did it make the whole thing all about sex forever? Nope. Sure didn’t. But sometimes it was.

Most of us really want to know, if only to prepare ourselves. I mean, I had exclusive, phenomenal sex with a guy for almost 2 years. Then it was over. Poof. Just like that. Blindsided much? If I would have paid attention, though.

I’d bet that you should just trust…

First Impression
It’s said that within 50 milliseconds you make a decision about a person. When you first met, how did you feel? At ease or completely creeped out? Did you feel like he was genuine or just telling you what you wanted to hear?

Actions, Actions, Actions
Is he in relentless pursuit of your vagina? Is that all there is to your interactions; making out and groping and trying to get you in bed? Yeah. Speaks for itself.

His Words
Listen to what he says and how he talks to you. Is it all about sex? Or does he care when you’re struggling or when something awesome happens? If he cares, there’s a good chance that sex isn’t his only priority. Unless he’s just a player. Then, well…you’ll figure it out sooner than later.

And when all else fails,

No brainer. If you really want to know and are completely prepared with how you’re going to deal with whatever answer you get, just ask? Because even if the first three point to sex, it may not be that simple. No, you don’t want can’t have a relationship that’s only about sex, but that doesn’t mean that starting there dooms it for eternity. No better way to know than to ask.

There! That was fun! 🙂 You may not know any more than you did when you first read this, but hey. Neither do I. I know what I’m going to do, though. Because I am totally curious.





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