Parenting is hard. One moment you think you’re doing a spectacular job; you daughter got accepted into a wonderful Catholic college. Your boys are in the honor society and singing at church. The next thing you know you find out your kid is doing some deplorable thing or another and you’re in complete shock.
My baby flew the coop 2009-ish. There was a lot of shit going on in her life and she just couldn’t keep it together. As her mom, I felt like I had failed. I couldn’t fix the broken pieces and make her whole again. At the time I had no idea that no one else could, either.
Fast forward to 3 months ago. She’s still broken. But she called. She called and I heard my little girl again, this time asking to come home and start over. Something impacted her and she realized that she wasn’t where she should be. I finally knew then that I had indeed done something right. That my love did get through to her.
Life can be hard when you have troubled kids. There are many days, sometimes years of darkness. I beg you to remember this –
- You did great. Keep loving them. That’s all you can do
- It’s okay to be hard on them. They fucked up, not you
- Parenting is hard. Find a support system, be it church, a moms group, or a counselor
- Listen to your gut and don’t back down. They might not know what’s up, but you do
- Sometimes you have to walk away. Not because you don’t care, but so you can keep caring
- Be open to second chances. I can’t promise they won’t break your heart again, but it’s worth it to see them sleeping at home again
Chin up, buttercup. You’re an amazing mom/dad and all will be well, eventually.