It’s down to two weeks. Two more weeks and I get to meet Mr. Snoop. This man that I am *gasp* starting to like as more than just a far-flung fling :/

*If you’re confused, start here*

You’re probably asking yourself “Isn’t that the point?”. Fuck if I know. Fuck. If. I. Know. My first instinct is to scream NoNoNO! Part of me wants to run away. To say “Oh man, I cannot do this. This WILL destroy me.” He is 400+ miles away Carrie Beth, I say to myself. What the fuck?!? But guess what? I don’t care. Fucking do it. Just let me have my two days.

All I am sure of at this moment is that I am supposed to be here in this situation. Why? I haven’t had any nagging feelings or voices in my head screaming “Do NOT do it!”. I believe that he’s in my life for some reason, and I’m praying it’s not to reinforce the fact that I am stupid and hang way too much of my life on hopes and dreams. I’m sure that I like talking to him, and I think he’s cool as shit. And it makes me smile when he texts me random shit during the day. But that doesn’t help.

So I guess I just need to breathe and trust in God. Let it be what it will be, even though I’m sitting here looking at my life wondering what in the world God is up to right now.




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