As I honestly reflect on my issues with my relationship, I realize that I have a really tough time trusting people. And It really is the most important factor in any relationship. For some of us, though, it can be a really difficult emotion to cultivate. Be it past experiences, or because of your own personal demons, there are real reasons we don’t trust, but the bottom line is we’ve got to do something about it.
Some of the things we don’t trust may take a little more work and self-awareness to “fix” than others, but I believe it’s all doable.
What can you do when you don’t trust? Well let’s see…
This is step one. Ask yourself, is this my problem or a problem with something he/she does or says, or doesn’t do?
This seems like a no-brainer, but I don’t think nearly enough people do it. You have to be aware of the why, and have an idea of what you need from your s/o to get through it. It’s not fair to walk in and say “I don’t trust X about us.” and walk out.
This one can be a toughy, especially since most people do not have a positive outlook on the people who have negatively changed their life. But you have to. You cannot move on while holding the strings of past emotional distress.
- Baby Steps
It’s not going to happen overnight. But if you work at it and the person you are with is supportive you can get through it!
Have you dealt with trust issues? What did you do to get through it?