Figuring things out.
That’s been my MO forever and a day. Just figure the shit out and move forward in life. Because, damn. Hemming and hawing will not solve the problem. Being indecisive will not solve the problem.
But being the one to figure it all out can lead to overthinking and self-destruction.
I think Kenn hit the nail right on the head. There are only two questions. Ask them and let it go and just do what you’d do if life was perfect:
- Would you miss it if it was gone?
- Do you want it to work?
I put emphasis on the want because it’s a super important thing. Do. You. Want. This. ?You’re not asking if it can work or if it’s going to work. It’s not begging a discussion of “yeah-buts” i.e. “Yeah-but it’s going to be hard” or “Yeah-but what about your dad” or “Yeah-but I’m not sure how to respond to XYZ”. You’re simply answering whether or not the relationship is something you want.
If the answer to both of these questions is a yes, stay and work on it. If either one is a no, you’re fooling yourself with the yes answer and it’s time to move on.
The hardest part (for me) is to just keep swimming when you’ve gotten the yes.
Not to keep trying to analyze, just move forward. Don’ force weird or hard conversations. Don’t obsess over what’s going on. Just be happy you have what you have. Love them like you always have. Sure, you identified things during the “I don’t know if this is going to work out” conversation that you need to adjust, so adjust them together and GET ON WITH IT.
So, yeah. Love each other. Be kind and be honest, talk and play together. Don’t obsess, don’t overthink.
And remember. It will be whatever God set it up to be.