Sometimes life just sucks. It insists upon beating you up and taking your hope and will. This may happen because of uncontrollable circumstances, bad decisions, or a combination of the two. Whatever the reason, in these moments there are only 2 options:
- Blame everyone and stay stuck
- Grow through what you go through
#1, that’s the easy way out. It doesn’t hurt (in the moment). It’s not uncomfortable and doesn’t take any kind of thought or responsibility. You can just continue on.
#2, though, that’s the tough one. You’ve heard of growing pains, yeah? These suckers can be physical or mental. And either way, it sucks. Change and growth isn’t an easy process, whether you’re happy to do it or you’re doing it because you know you need to.
So I don’t think that #1 needs a how to. It’s self-explanatory, and if you’re going that route I’m not sure why you’re reading this anyway. Number 2, though, there’s a lot to be said on that one…
Every experience, good or bad, has something to teach us. Learning=Growth. Every. Fucking. Time. But just like academic learning or learning a new skill, the learning that = personal growth takes practice & repetition, and perseverance.
I’m sure you’re asking how do you apply these things to personal/emotional growth. That’s what I’m here for 🙂
Practice & Repetition:
You need to do the same thing over and again to get your new frame of mind to stick. It may be as simple as looking yourself in the mirror every day and giving yourself a pep talk “I will be okay alone” or “This does not define me” or something like that, fitting of your situation. Whatever it is, don’t lose it. Don’t forget about it. Do it Every. Single. Day.
You take your time to be sad or sorry or broken. You deserve it. When my DSNBP left I walked away. No mulling it over, no plan. Packed a bag and just left for 48 hours. And I didn’t feel bad about it at all. The key to it was coming home. I had to remember: “Carrie, you will be okay. You can make it through. You’ve got a 100% track record of surviving so far. Don’t give up and don’t quit.” That’s what this bullet point means: don’t wallow too long in your misery. Be miserable and move forward. You can still be miserable while moving, but at least you’re not stuck in your pity pot.
Make sense? I hope so. Let me know what you think.