10 days ago the love of my life, my DSNBP, told me he was leaving me. Things were really difficult with J, and getting worse. DSNBP has always struggled with the relationship between his head and his heart anyways, and the head finally won out. The 29th was to mark one year, and I really thought we were doing well. I couldn’t wrap my head around why, or how he could just walk away from everything without a passing glance.
But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I want to tell you about the time I ran away. As an adult. Because it was awesome. Usually, I am in the “When the going get’s tough the tough get going”. This time, it was a case of “When the going get’s tough, leave. Just go.”
Over the last 4-5 years, there have certainly been more than a couple times that I have thought about it, but the need just wasn’t that great. The situation wasn’t that desperate. I wasn’t that upset. This time, though, this time my heart was ripped from my chest and left to bleed out. I could not take it. From his car starting and mine leaving the driveway, it was a matter of 15 minutes. I literally packed a bag and a cooler, grabbed Margaret and left. Fucking awesome.
I drove for 5 hours, finally snoozing just outside of South Bend, Indiana. WTF is out there, you ask? Well, the Basilica of the Sacred Heart at Notre Dame, PLUS a whole shit ton of micro and macro breweries. Hands down some of the best beer you will find, on my honor. There were amazing kettled sours. 2nd batch lactose IPA’s. Stouts brewed with cookies and spices and all sorts of wonderful things. Even a corn beer that really tasted like honey cornbread. Yum, yum, yum. It was the perfect thing.
But it wasn’t just about the beer. I spend 48 hours with myself. The only people I talked to were bartenders and strangers. Some of the talk revolved around “What brought you here??” and they received the abridged version, which I have to tell you…people were completely shocked that someone would just leave, though most of it was small talk/chit-chat, go to this brewery or that one. I found the best of the local breweries and took in some pretty scenery along the way. It was liberating and refreshing and a good reminder that I don’t need a man with me to be able to do whatever the fuck I want.
and that, my friends, is what should be gleaned from this post: you CAN do life alone. Adventures and road trips and conversation. You define you, not who you’re with or where you are. Just the spark inside you. Do it. Be it. Have fun with it.