Grief is a stupid, horrible emotion that makes you defensive and vulnerable. You fall into depression and try bargaining and threatening and you feel broken and empty and angry.
At least that’s how it’s going for me, thank you very much.
You’d think with as many times as I have given myself wholly to someone only to be let the fuck down, I’d be more adept at handling myself during this phase of life. But alas, I still suck at it. And I still go through the stages of grief. Over and over and over again.
But I am really trying to make it through this one, as it is the most shattered I have ever felt. I don’t want to be broken forever. I want to get on with my life. Not, like, find someone else. No. I don’t want that right now. I do want to start living without the daily bouts of crying and being angry and wanting to run far, far away.
Search “How to heal a broken heart”. You will find a plethora of results on Google. I am clearly not the only person suffering from/who has suffered from a debilitating broken heart. Not that I thought I was, but there’s a certain comfort in seeing proof that you’re not alone. Hearing the stories and relating to the heartwrenching agony.
I got a ton of ideas from all different folks who have suffered through different kinds of grief. From these, I have decided to take the following steps. You’ve got to start somewhere, right?
Start a Gratitude Journal. If you’re not familiar with gratitude journaling, it’s a really powerful thing. Even when you’re not in the pits. Somedays are much harder than others to find something to be thankful for, but there’s always something. Always. Focus on it.
Choose Happy. Wake up EVERY DAY and choose to focus on those things you wrote in your gratitude journal. Choose to focus on your great hair. Wear your favorite outfit. Paste that smile on your face and be. Fucking. Happy.
Cry. Bawl your stinking eyes out. Let it hurt. Let it flow. Feel it in all its raw agony. You can’t skirt around it, it will just keep showing up. Over and again. Ruining your progress.
Get a Hobby. Give yourself something to focus your energy on. Work out. Play bingo. Write. Paint. Brew beer. Anything to get you out of yourself.
Forgive. Yourself. Him. God. Holding on is worse than letting go. Stay tuned for a post about that coming up shortly.
Do you have some things you do/have done to get over heartache? Are you going through it? If you are, I am sorry. I think you’re wonderful. I love you. We’ll be fine. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but we will be.