20 years and two months ago I was walking out of my divorce. I will never forget what my ex-husband said to me: “Carrie Beth, you are done. You will never find love. Who is going to want you with those kids?”.
All these years later, as I’m going through yet another break up because he didn’t have the capacity to deal with my family, those words come rushing back with what feels like stinging truth. They haven’t wanted me, or my kids. I haven’t found love. And I am pretty much done.
Well, guess what? It’s not the truth. That voice is just an asshole, and I’m just sad right now.
Negative self-talk is an easy habit to get into. Especially when you’re miserable, when life is kicking your ass, and when your heart is filled with grief. It’s hard to choose happy. But you have to.
Be the light you want. Trust yourself. Trust the process. Don’t spend your time wishing you had more or were more. Wishing you weren’t alone, or wondering why everything sucks. Just be without expectation. Quit giving a fuck, and tell that voice to shut its dirty whore mouth.