One little word that holds so much power…
but I tell you what, I tell you what. It’s hard. And I don’t know why. When you’re rationally thinking (which we rarely are during any time of grief) you don’t hold the burning coal. But man, when you’re hurting on the inside, you mull over every little thing letting it burn holes right through you.
I haven’t found the answer to how you go about forgiving…well…if you will. It’s a messy business, the whole grief piece, and forgiveness is not a clean part of it. But here’s what I think…
Make a list. Write down every thing that hurts. Every. Single. Thing.
Get it all out. I find that writing a letter, an open blog post (but nothing that calls out specifics), or even an email is a great place to start.
Send it. Or don’t. That’s your call. Sometimes it’s better to just burn the motherfucker down. But sometimes you gotta give it to them.
Let it go. This is the hardest step. The one that takes the most time, and doesn’t always work well. But try.
Grief is a shitty thing. And when the person you’re grieving isn’t dead, it’s even shittier. You’ll heal. I’ll heal. We will learn from it and move on.