An Unholy Mess. That’s What This Is.

Monday night. One smallish glass of red wine and a journal entry later and here we are; WHAT THE FUCK am I doing??

DSNBP asked me to travel with him this coming weekend. And because

A) I still love being around him

and

B) I love going to the city I was like “YES! Done and done.”

Ugh.

I do want to go. I mean, shit. Halloween in Minneapolis? Music fests? Beers? Hotel room? Him? Dayum. It’s like our best times reincarnate. But is it? What’s it going to look like?

And if I’m being honest, I think that’s probably the most pressing question on my mind. What do you think is going to happen? Are we flying by the seat of our pants, not caring if 2 pints lead to hugs and kisses and maybe more? Because it’s us and we were just freaking amazing. So what happens when something happens?? Then where are we? Do I just go back to life without you? Gah! What kind of unholy mess have I agreed to??

Well, if this isn’t text-book Carrie, I don’t know what is. Letsa go.

*10/28

Well, it was an amazing time. Lots of REALLY good beer was had. The *mmhmm* is still amazing. Watching him play was exceptionally satisfying. And now as we’re driving home I know that it’s just back to where we were when we left. Maybe behind closed doors we’re lovers now, but his friends will try to hook him up. Chicks will hit on him and he will flirt back. And eventually the nice girl with the flat butt will have a nice ass. And maybe even be smart and adventurous. And he then I will just be Carrie.

Yep. An unholy mess.

xo
c

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