Prayer

How do you pray??

Very carefully? Or with reckless abandon? Is there a right way? Or a wrong one, for that matter? Maybe not praying at all is the only way that you can fuck it up.

I think God is just waiting. Waiting for us to reach out. Talk to him about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Waiting for us to ask for help, guidance, and intervention. Waiting for a thank you. And an I love you.

As I have grown older, prayer has become easy. And a habit that I purposefully made. I pray in the morning, I pray at night. I write in my thankful journal and write him a prayer.

But it wasn’t always that easy. It took time. And patience. And faith.

There was a time that I was REALLY lost. Like, ready to curl up and die lost. I cried and I screamed and I shook my fists to the sky and said why?!? And he said “hush”. No, no. Not out loud (how cool would that have been?!?). But in my heart, for sure. It was then that I felt I should stop trying to make things do what I wanted and start letting Him do his thing.

So. Here’s how I pray…

    Thank you for…
    Forgive me for…
    Bless and keep…
    Please, Father…
    Guide my thoughts, words, and actions.
    I love you. Amen.

Sure. I ask for what I want. But I also thank him for whatever he gives. And I ask him to forgive my fucked up self. And ask for the guidance only a father can give. Because I don’t know about you, but I want him to know me when I get there. I want to be the child who has bugged him incessantly until he scoops me up, rumples my hair, and says you sure are something, my love.

xo

c

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4 comments

  1. I so agree with you! He is waiting for us to reach out, good, bad, and ugly! I remember ugly crying feeling so lost, and I was..crying out for help! While I am not perfect ( no one is) I now have more faith and hope.. Things aren’t necessarily easier, but I am slowly learning to rely on God’s shoulders more and more. Great post!

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