Prayer

How do you pray??

Very carefully? Or with reckless abandon? Is there a right way? Or a wrong one, for that matter? Maybe not praying at all is the only way that you can fuck it up.

I think God is just waiting. Waiting for us to reach out. Talk to him about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Waiting for us to ask for help, guidance, and intervention. Waiting for a thank you. And an I love you.

As I have grown older, prayer has become easy. And a habit that I purposefully made. I pray in the morning, I pray at night. I write in my thankful journal and write him a prayer.

But it wasn’t always that easy. It took time. And patience. And faith.

There was a time that I was REALLY lost. Like, ready to curl up and die lost. I cried and I screamed and I shook my fists to the sky and said why?!? And he said “hush”. No, no. Not out loud (how cool would that have been?!?). But in my heart, for sure. It was then that I felt I should stop trying to make things do what I wanted and start letting Him do his thing.

So. Here’s how I pray…

    Thank you for…
    Forgive me for…
    Bless and keep…
    Please, Father…
    Guide my thoughts, words, and actions.
    I love you. Amen.

Sure. I ask for what I want. But I also thank him for whatever he gives. And I ask him to forgive my fucked up self. And ask for the guidance only a father can give. Because I don’t know about you, but I want him to know me when I get there. I want to be the child who has bugged him incessantly until he scoops me up, rumples my hair, and says you sure are something, my love.

xo

c

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Give Thanks. Be Kind. Love.

Happy Thanksgiving, all! I hope you find the blessings of family, food, and love today. Every day, really, but especially today ❤

There will always be Grati-Tuesday. Because I like that shit. But today? Today is the day, right? It’s right in the name that makes it a no-brainer; thankfulness is coming. Lots of it.  

But what about the rest of the time? And I’m not even talking just Tuesday…

Could gratitude solve problems? I’ve been pondering that during this personal season of change and pain. How much different would life, yours, mine, be if we gave thanks instead of a complaint? If we said thank you for instead of why don’t I have? What if we were thankful for who we are instead of trying to be someone we’re not? What, then, would this world look like?

Love. Kindness. Gratitude. These are the things that will change the world. You may not think that you can make a difference, but I challenge you. When is the last time you spent one whole day just being positive? Try for just one day to live your life with a grateful heart and practice being kind to EVERYONE. Not just the people you think deserve it. You may think “Well I don’t say the nasty things I think” (I have that outlook some days, too). But I tell you what. Those negative, nasty thoughts poison you. They poison your heart and your mind. 

Change the world. Give thanks. Be kind. Love. I dare you.

Happy Thanksgiving ❤

xo
c

Song of the Week

Itsa Wednesday! Aaaand a half day! AND almost thanksgiving! Does it get much better? I don’t think it really does. Until you add this…

Went to see Bohemian Rhapsody last week. Oh. My Goodness. Love love loved that movie. The casting was amazing, the story was heartbreaking and encouraging and funny. If you haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend you do. If you have any artistic/entertainment/musical appreciation at all you will enjoy it.

That movie brought me back to the Queen you don’t hear on the radio. The stuff that differentiated them even further from mainstream music. I sifted through my iTunes library to find the 52 songs for 3.5 hours worth of listening pleasure. And that, my friends, is only a drop in the bucket of their amazing discography. 

Because love. And Me. I have two for you today. Enjoy. And Blessings for a Wonderful day tomorrow.

Another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust
Love of my life…

xo
c

Grati-Tuesday

Happy Thanksgiving week, peeps!

I hope that all of you are wonderful. That life is good. That you’re excited about the upcoming holidays. And that you will be shopping and decorating in t-4 days ❤

Every day I write 3 things that I am thankful for. I need this in my life so that I don’t go into a hole of “everything sucks, kill me now”. Because yes. I get there.

I want to share with you my 3 things as they are written…

Today I am thankful for Jeremy. Loving him gives me hope. Hope makes things bearable. 

I am thankful to be able to teach fitness. I love the excitement of the people whose lives are impacted by my passion. It’s awesome and rewarding and another thing that makes it worth getting out of bed.

And I am thankful for my family. We fight and sometimes don’t talk, but I know when the going gets tough we’ve got each others’ back. 

Gratitude makes my world a brighter place. I hope that you have something that does that for you. 

What are you grateful for today?

xo
c

Compromise.

Are relationships just a series of compromises? A dance of giving this and taking that? Of conceding on one thing to get another? Taking the good and fighting through the bad? Of being the best of yourself for someone else.

Yes. I think that’s a lot of it. And how it should be. When you enter into a relationship with someone else, you’re no longer just thinking of yourself. Ideally, you both are building each other and wanting to make the other person happy by doing things for and with that person.

But when does compromise become a detriment to who you are? Where do you define that line between actual compromise and giving too much? That, my friends, is the question of the day (or of the moment on a late-ish night after some good wine).

I feel like it’s pretty fair to say I am a champ at compromising (myself) for the person I am with. Allowing them to be half-committed while I was constantly thinking of things I could do to make things amazing. Though I’m sure it was always a nagging reality in the back of my head, it really struck me as I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, mulling on why he didn’t care enough to try. It was then that it hit me: it’s time to stop this madness.

So how do you know when it’s no longer a two-sided compromise? I suppose it’s a learning period for all of us. Maybe like grief, maybe just like the process of getting into a fitness routine or starting a diet; you see, you deny, you go through stages. Here’s a broad overview of what I see in my life…

  1. You’re losing sleep over it
  2. It’s a no-win situation
  3. It’s detrimental to your happiness
  4. You’re losing yourself in the process

If this is where your relationship is taking you, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a one-sided “thing” where you are the only party trying. The other half is dead weight. And these aforementioned things are proof that it’s stealing your soul. Steal it back. Get back to you. Compromise the little things. Like the movie you’re going to see or what you guys are going to have for dinner. Not your identity and your soul.

xo
c

Hope is Not an Answer. It’s THE Answer.

I’ve struggled with hope these last couple weeks. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. I don’t know where we are going to go from here. And when you don’t know, it’s hard to have hope.

That said, I I have been reading resisting happiness by Matthew Kelly. He talks about perseverance and hope being two of the forces that contribute to our happiness. That with those two things, we can most certainly be happy. That hope gives us something to look forward to, and perseverance Is the action of striving for the best versions of ourselves. And that the best version of ourselves is all God truly wants from us.

So when you’re broken and confused, how do you find hope and perseverance? How do you believe when you’re not sure if you should? How do you go on when you don’t really want to?

Hope. That’s how.

Even when you believe deep in your heart that you’re never going to find love, you must hope. When your certain that life will never turn out right, you must hope. When it looks like a dead end you must still persevere. Keep on keeping on with a heart full of faith. That is how it happens.

Maybe, just maybe, if we do these things, our dreams will be actualized. Our prayers will be answered. And by the grace of God we might just find love and happiness

xo

c

Grati-Tuesday

There’s something to be said for having people tell you how much they appreciate you. How fun your class is. How you’re an inspiration.

Today I am thankful for my students & my classes. To have the opportunity to inspire and motivate people to reach their health and fitness goals. And to foster relationships that make people want to come back time and again.

What are you thankful for today??
Let me know in the comments 🙂

xo
c

Learn From It

Lessons. Change. Improvement. Every single situation, whether it’s fucked up or not, can probably teach us something.

I got to thinking about this as I was writing my gratitude journal this morning. One of my 3 things was my relationship with DSNBP because it taught me a lot. About myself, about the way I approach relationships, and about what I thought I wanted vs what I actually need from someone.

Often times, I think we believe that the only lessons come from painful situations. Granted, those are usually the most obvious ones, and they make us uncomfortable enough that we actually want to change it. Remember the Lion King?

Related image

Great scene. Good wisdom. Love the message. But still…

What if we put forth the effort to learn from every situation we were in? What if, for one week, we took a good look at all the situations that make an impact on our lives. Even the ones that really went quite well?

Maybe we aren’t supposed to be looking for things we did wrong, but things we could do even more right. What if the road to escalating ourselves was to improve on our awesomeness instead of focus on our failings?? What if it was really about all the positive things we can do, and do accomplish? Wouldn’t improving on the good in ourselves only make us…dare I say… great??

xo
c

Song of the Week

Have you ever listened to Pennywise??

I was turned on to these guys last weekend, specifically the song “Bro Hymn“. I was skeptical, to say the least. Bro Hymn? Really? I’m not a huge fan of “bro’s”. But being the open-minded music loving individual I am, I gave it a shot.

Hell Yes. These guys are everything I loved about punk rock back when I was a ginormous NoFX fan. And this song, it just spoke to me. The lyrics, the bass line, the whole 9.

xo
c