What Makes it a Relationship?

You can sleep with somebody and not date them. You can stalk someone on Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram, yet never share a conversation. You can talk long distance every day for a month and a half, meet, have the time of your life, and return to perfect strangers. 

Are any of these relationships? Or all of them? Or maybe none of them at all. 

What is it that defines a relationship? What do we do that makes a relationship something more than casual sex? Is it time spent? Dates had? A deep connection? 

Maybe it’s just something that’s perfect for the one in it. Something that makes you feel wonderful, fits your life, and gives you what your heart desires. 



The Job Hunt: Part 4

Yay! You’ve landed yourself an interview! Congrats! This is a huge step in landing a job. The most important part, actually. The defining moment that propels you from “they’re interested in knowing about my skills” to “they want me to work for them”.

Interviews can be scary. And tricky. And stressful. But they don’t have to be! With a lotta bit of preparation and a healthy dose of self-confidence, you can master the interview.

Using the following steps, you can get yourself a stellar spot on their nice list, and hopefully a second interview.

  • Research the company
    They will inevitably ask you what you know about their organization. Be prepared to intelligently answer. Check their website, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. Make sure you look at their product or service portfolio, mission and vision statement, the leadership structure info, and the about us page. You don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot by asking what the mission is when it’s out on the site.t
  • Have answers at the ready
    Remember the questions I told you to ask yourself a couple weeks ago in Part 2? This is where these questions apply! Answer them! Then when you’re done, find an answer to why you want to work for that company, what your 5 year goal is, and why you think they should hire you. If you want to be a super-prepper, check out this list of common interview questions and start answering these, too!
  • Have a list of questions to ask
    Nothing is worse that having that “Uhm, nope” moment when the interviewer asks if you have any questions for them. Prepare at least 5 questions for them, and make sure that the first 3 reflect an interest in the company and not self interest. This also is NOT the time to be asking about benefits and telecommuting policies. Those are best left for the offer stage of the game.
  • Dress the part, only better
    You want to dress at least one step up from what you’re interviewing for. The last thing you want to do is show up in business casual to a room full of suits. Dress well and conservative (no sky-high heels/short suit dresses), go easy on the makeup and perfume, wear understated jewelry, and don’t forget your smile!


That’s all I have. If you’re looking for more, there are a lot of great resources out there…let me google that for you 😉


Spiced Pears

So. The reason I don’t generally blog recipes is that I don’t usually follow one. But this. I have to try to to convey to you how this happened, because it was freaking amazing. 

I had a hankering for something sweet. See, my kid and I were at her registration today. There were piles, yes piles, of sweet breads, donuts, cookies, brownies, and pastries. And I was good. Aaallllll day. I was good when I got home and good when I went to the grocery store even. Needless to say, I did want something when I was done eating. Something sweet. Rich. Satisfying. And boy did I nail it. 

I need to warn you. You really have to be mindful to not add too much. Err on the side of less, season to taste, then enjoy. 

Spiced Pears

1/4 tsp coconut oil

1 med D’Anjou pear, sliced into matchsticks

1/3 cup chopped pecans

Pinch turmeric

Pinch cinnamon

Pinch ginger

1/3 cup full fat coconut milk

1/2 tsp pure maple syrup

Melt coconut oil in heavy skillet over medium/high heat. 

Add pears, pecans, and spices. SautĂ©e 3-5 minutes, stirring often to ensure nothing burns. When warm and a slight crust has formed on the pears, remove from heat. 

Put coconut milk in the bottom of a bowl. Add pear mixture and drizzle with maple syrup. Eat the fuck out of it. 



Song of the Week: March 19 – 25

Ooops.Sorry for dropping the ball last week! Totally lost track of things, obviously from the lack of postings at all.

I have been a Pink Floyd fan for as long as I can remember. Every song speaks to me at some level. Be it the lyrics or the music that touches my soul, I am touched none the less. And it is wonderful.

Please enjoy


Chicken & Veg

So. I have been Paleo for about a year and a half. I love what clean eating has done to my body; how I hard I can play, the quality of sleep that I get, and the overall good feeling it gives me.

Being someone who loves to cook, and does so at least six nights a week, you would think that I would post more recipes. The problem is, I don’t use recipes. If it requires measurement I use someone else’s recipe. Otherwise, I fly by the seat of my pants and no two meals taste the same. Because really, who the fuck has time to take out a recipe and follow it??

This one, though, this one is pretty easy. So I figured I would share. It’s not only easy but it’s freaking amazing.

Chicken & Veg

1 bell pepper, diced

1 bunch of skinny asparagus, cut into 1-inch pieces

1 medium zucchini squash, quartered and diced

1 medium onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 container pre-sliced mushrooms (I used baby Bellas, feel free to use whatever you love)

4 ribs of kale, stripped from the stock and chopped

1 small can sliced black olives

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into thin slices

2 tablespoons olive oil, separated

1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

Salt to taste

Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add peppers and asparagus, sautéing until slightly tender. Add the rest of the vegetables, cooking until they are done to your liking. Remove from pan and set aside. 

Add remaining tablespoon of oil to the skillet and put in the chicken. Add a shake of salt, and sauté for 10 minutes, turning chicken to ensure browning on all sides.

Return sautéed vegetables to the pan with the chicken, adding the garlic and crushed red pepper flakes. Mix well and allow it to chill for another five minutes, blending all the flavors.

Ta-da! That’s it. Seriously. It’s amazing. My kids like it over rice or pasta, I eat it as is or over spaghetti squash. Soooo good.

You’re welcome 🙂



When You’re Unemployed

As many of you may know, I was forced into being unemployed just over a month ago. The company I had called home for almost 4 years “restructured” and “eliminated my position”. If I might be candid, I was a pain in the ass and they couldn’t find a reason to fire me. That’ll happen, I suppose. Maybe not to everyone, but I’m sure I’m not the first.

It’s been a very…weird experience, to say the least. But all in all, I have had some really great eye opening experiences and found some great thing out about myself and life in general. What you ask? Well….

I feel like I have lost and found myself all at the same time

Being a lady of leisure is f&king outstanding

My self-esteem went down the toilet

Then it resurfaced better than ever

I took some time off and regretted yet cherished every moment

I’ve re-prioritized what I value

Frugality is becoming a habit again

Crying & depression are a normal stage of being out of work. Let it come then let it go

My yoga practice has flourished

So has my ability to day drink

I know myself better than I have in a long while

I’m becoming okay with solitude

I’m sure if I sat here for a few hours I could fill a few pages with the things that I have done and accomplished and figured out in the last month. But I think this is a great start.

Have you been unemployed after a good long stint as being a professional? What was your experience?



The Job Hunt: Part 3

Ah the hunt. It’s as bad as dating. And almost as complicated 😉



Back in the day we went to the newspaper and our network of friends and family to find a job. That, along with the occasional “NOW HIRING” signs was all we had to find open positions. It was a headache and you had to constantly be talking to every Tom, Dick, and Harry you knew to get leads on available positions.

Although we now have Career Builder, Monster, Indeed, and more, it hasn’t really changed that much; networking is still the best way to find something. Only 20% of all jobs are posted online. The rest are “hidden”, if you will, waiting for the right candidate to show up from a referral. So what’s a girl (or guy) to do?

  1. Prepare a statement
    You’ve got to be ready to tell people who you are, what you do, and what you’re looking for. If you’re not sure where to start this is a great article. Take the time to write it up and practice it until it doesn’t sound canned.
  2. Network, network, network
    Now that you know what you’re going to say, talk to people! Talk to people everywhere. Ask them about their job. What they like most about their company. How they got to where they are. Suggestions on being awesome. Don’t ask them for a job, make an impression that will make them think of you when they hear about one!
  3. Search your favorite companies
    If you’ve got an idea of where you’d like to work, look at their site! Many companies have a careers page on their site, and that’s the only place they post their jobs. Look at their LinkedIn, too! You might even know someone who works there.
  4. Get on the sites
    This is completely debatable. Some people will tell you to absolutely not post your resume on Monster and the like. I say DO IT! Many hiring managers look at these sites for candidates. Sure, you might get spammed by some recruiters, but you also might land your dream job by it.
  5. Search the sites
    Look through your local job center postings, as well as the national sites. The only thing you want to avoid when doing this is applying through the job site. When you put in your application through Career Builder, you can potentially get lost in a huge pool of all the other candidates. If at all possible, find out the company or contact and send your resume directly.

There you go! Get on the hunt. and Good Luck!!



This, Though

So there’s something to be said for getting yourself all wrapped up in something you really don’t need to be wrapped up in; nothing else can hold your interest. 

I can honestly admit that I have had a terrible time rebounding. When I’ve had a wonderful experience that fails, I want desperately to fill the hole. As soon as possible. This time though?


It was all I could do to not cry off and on throughout the date. He would say something and I would think “Snoop…”. I would connect it with something he had done. Or said. Or something. By the time it was over I just wanted to go home, snuggle my body pillow and be alone. 

Why is this good? Because I don’t want to rebound. Sure, every day is getting easier. There were moments that he was not on my mind today. I didn’t have him in my head during my entire practice. I only cried 3 times today. And I need to get through all this before I go throwing myself into the arms of a man again.  I need to be Ok by myself. Have fun with me. Not wish for kisses and hugs and a desperate need of companionship. 

The only thing that scares me is what if nothing lives up to that again? What if I don’t find the fun and comfort and attraction again? What if that guy isn’t out there?!? I don’t want anyone now, but I don’t want to be alone forever either. At least right now I don’t. But you never know. Maybe I’ll want to be alone forever in the future. After not finding the Snoop that stays. 

But at least right now I’m ready to be alone. Simply because I can’t have what I want. And that doesn’t make me happy. 



The Job Hunt: Part 2

So you’ve updated your resume and your LinkedIn and figured out where you want to go in your life and your career, right?? You’ve got it all together 😉

Okay. Maybe not all together. We don’t want to get all crazy here! But I do hope that you know enough to be able to move forward in the search for that perfect job.

After that’s all done, you can start looking at how you can sell yourself. What you’ve done and what you are capable of doing. For me personally, this was a very daunting task. I don’t like to toot my own horn. But if there’s ever a time to talk about how awesome you are, now’s the time!

  • Inventory your achievements (strengths)
    And organize them within your skill sets. We all have a number of different things we are accomplished in. Take the time to think of what you did with social media and how it changed the company, what your new design suggestion did for the product launch, and how your process improvement helped out the efficiency of the assembly process. This will not only help you answer questions but also realize your worth as you’re bumming about being unemployed
  • Look at your behavior
    You’ll inevitably be asked how you’ve handled conflict, motivated others, or resolved a team issue. Write down as many different examples as you can think of!
    As you’re looking at this, don’t keep it just to your last position. Your other experiences have shaped the awesome, employable individual you are today! Talk about how your volunteering helped your motivation and how that entry level job in the mail room taught you organization. Keep the list by your interview area.
  • Think about what matters to you
    Is it flexibility? Salary? Culture? Location? Take a look at the things you know you need to be happy when you’re employed, making sure you also take a look at the why that goes along with it. Once you have made your list you can use this to create some questions for the interviewer. We’ll dig deeper into this in part 4

So these are your next 3 steps. Next time we are going to talk about the hunt itself, then in part 4 we will build upon this homework 🙂